where the hell am i anymore

so i went out tonight with kirk and dortheya (sp?) which nice... i mean i like hanging out with THEM .... i feel all hard core now cuz me and her had to pee like no ones buisness we knocked on some strangers door and no dice tried to kick the boys outta the bathroom no dice... followed kirk to the ally ... dice all the way lol we have earned our college girlscout badges!
so yea new friend she is pretty awsome .. helps me talk about shit ...
kirks just plain great ... made him ramen 2wice tonight and yea every time hes liek weelllllll gr! im liek hey look! RAMEN! lol and its good ...
finally trygint o be nice to kevin ... its gettign there... i shoudl wrk on the tolleration thing i dont have (comeing to the relization of how STUCKTHEFUCK UP she really is) even tho adam isnt helping hes like but i love you cuz your a bitch but i love the kid and its good cuz he only tells me to be nice to michael (how cute being an only child he is ) and yea so its cool im pretty good at beign mean to peopel i barely know but seing how hes around alot i guess i must be a little less hatefull but neWAI uhhhhh kirks roomate watches hentai in class LOL ... dont ask! uhhhh
late night 711 runs are fun ... today was kinda all around shitty but ended decently ... i just have somethigns to sort out ... did i mention i HATE pot heads,,,, lol but yea im SURROUNDED .... :'( so i miss husband ... and no husband for me this weekend :(((((((( hes gettign his teeth out ... which is gonna just all around SUCK .... for the BOTH Of us.. i think im gonna get the worse of it just cuz at the second thursday ill be on the fone with him all day bitching about how i neeeeeeeed to see him and yea... no GOOD!

ok so im not makign much sence but i missed this thing

i love

.vic

heffer goes to heck

turn to channel three

wheres the remote

you poor fool you still dont know where you are do you !? there is NO REMOTE!!!!


AHHhHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!



"*cries* im a glooton im a glooton " ( poor cow cant say glutton)

humble bees

i drempt about splinters last night
i wasdoing somethign with m hands andi kept haveing to pull little shards of wood out of my finger tips

myspace is down alot latly

michael drinks to much juice
and eats his lunch for breakfast

so michael while were on that topic
when did michael become the biggest ass hole on earth? hes foudn a way to make my life hell every day ive been home , and continues to do so . today is moms birthday and i m goign to be cooking all day so as he walks out of the door "have fun doing nothing "
does he not ocmprehend that i am on break ... that this is my vaation and i spent the whole time cleaning thier fuckign house?
hes likeing to flaunt his grades and talk about how hes going to have his liscence before me and how hes going to get moms car

first off mom said shes not giving her lincoln to ANYONE
so he can shove it

i dont feel so hot this mornig i had a foot long meatball sub
and apparently it never digested....

:(

well im off

vic

beauty

i want every day to feel like today
soft weather
i want an abandoned hous ein the country to play in
to find old things
to find forgotten things
to have somewhere nothign else has been
well nothign in a long time

i want ot take pictures of my feet when i walk
i want to capture the circle around the moon and paint it on my ceiling
i want to henna sleves and feet and wear nothign but red and orange silk for a mnth
i want to wear my bindi and my curls
i want to own a house one day and fill the living room to match a morocan resturant
pillows on the floor and scarves on the wall

i want to belly dance with bells on my ankles and hips

i think the ankles and hips are 2 of the most beautiful parts of the human body
i love my wrists
i want to wear bells on them too
but mostly they already jingle
i want to be graceful
i want to be a dancer

she has a body like a belly dancer
and i love them
one thing that has my entire attention

i want to spin in circles and spin till im sitting and pick the nearest flower and lose myself in it
i want to grow up and be a mermaid
i want to talk to my fish every day
i want to have prudence forever

i want my children to grow up and be as strong as i am
but i want them to be as innocent as i am too
i want everyone to expeirence beauty

everythign tends to be lost
i want to swim
i want to sleep in public
i love sitting in the road

i want to wake up one day under a tree
never knowing when exactly i stopped paying attention to my thoughts and fell asleep
i want to watch myself for a week
i want to wander london by myself

i want to sit and sing
i want to stay beautiful
i love my freckles

i want my freinds to come back to me
but i kinda want to be alone
i dont really want to understand who i am
but i want to understand everythign you say
and every thing you do






i love who i am

pecans love chairs and hippies

friday was me and adams three month! every one dance a little!
umm friday i had to wait so i got mad at my cleanign and slept some and slacked off.... o well i got to see adam and we went and hug out with chelsea... and i didnt relize she was leavign this morning....so i spent time with her last night and went to dorm and cried a little .. but ill be ok ... im just sad cuz its chelsea and i love the girl .. and i hate how when people promise u theyll come back to see you .. they never really do .....

it just works out that way every time for me ...

:'(

but happy ness cuz me and adam are happy ..

and thats always a good thing...

<3
vic

3 months later

so today is three months... woo!!
i get to see adam tonight ... good stuff..
and um ... yea
im so happy...


o btw...
if u leave comments please please leave names... thnx!

-vic

crack!!!!!!!

explanation for last post......
the only thing i could possibly say for that is they were snorting too much coke off the hobo toilettes.....


unless your mike then it was the hookers ass


thats all i can say about that



ack!!! they wont leave my posts alone

apparently mike had the male hooker while tony had the ugly chick that weighed more than 5 normal hookers put together.....

now whihc is worse... realy?


heheheh
i lvoe being in this room sometimes..
i met some guy he was nice .. i need to do alot of work tonight


" she had the tightest ass and tits ever " - mike

" this riot grrrr....ul"

mike fondels riot grrls boobs.. hes straight up brave as hell!!!!!!!


i swear to you im not drunk ....



i lVOe ..... being in this room ..... SHUT UP tony!!!!!





mmm starbursts!!!!


ok i think ill leave ive tramatized u enough!

<3
tori

i keep trying and trying

joel-peter witkin

46464646446464646

trance techno fisho

weekends are awsome
boy friends are best
fish are good and so is tea

ok so my weekend

friday i slack .. but i manage to go in for my meetign .. change my major .. get my advising done and yay thats besides the 3 classes i had to do and gettign up at 7 am to do homework but i didnt go swimming :( it was entirely to cold to risk being outside with kinda wet hair .. so i decided we'll start when i get back and every one is feeling well

i call adam liek 5 times... get a little worried and then he calls me back and hes coming ...
yay
they show up and i get in the car meet the mommy .. who is adorible as hell and super nice to me .. and then were on our way to pet smart ...
im a little worried that i ddint wait till after thanksgiving break but i got week end feeders so they shoudl be ok i got a beta who seems to change colors .. hes got red fins and a white bluegreen and red body ... his name is trance fisho ... ie mr fisho the 4th......
i bought 5 feeder fish
one with a mohawk - levi
a gold one - mitus
a white one with orange on his head - mouse / chicken (lol he looks like a hen , un gallina!)
one with a thicker mohawk - leopold 2
and one with a black middle - barthalamew

after pets i got adams suprise ready ... ie we went out with amanda and had kirk meet us ... adam says he knew what the suprise was but he was glad thats what it was any way .. so yay

kinda lol

so we hang out im happy cuz adam got to see his friend and i m hanging out with amanda and its justa good night ... so then we come back to dorm and im laying in my bed coughing so he goes and makes me some tea comign back periodiclya nd he said soemthgin that made me so incredibly happy that i almost melted into my bed and had happy tears lol
turns out our favorite angry boy is capable of love...

*smiles*

dude! he made me tea.......
yay ...

mmm

so anyway ... the rest of the weekend ... kissy face and all that jazz ... and yea... some cryign from me ... whihc is a mix of horomones and other... SUCKED!!
but he made me feel better which is ... very yay

um ...

i showed mike and richard and sarah my fishos... :)

i love them ...

levis my favorite...
and fisho fisho of course!

trance...

i liek it ..

well ok then i think im gonna go prep for mondaya nd get my psych done too

i love

<3

toribeth

i know what yoru thinkign and i dont need your reasons

how come your sns so hard to pronounce
cuz im bitter that my last name isnt schmulovitz

heheh

miss me ?
of course not your not there ...

so any way college is decent im goign home tuesday to go to pa wednesday morning
and of course ill be ragging over thanksgiving ... eat much >? i deffintily will
sucks

im gonna start swimmign on friday
im gonna have so much to do friday
i have to go to an 8 am class then to an advisor for a walk in hopefully ill get it in time for my next class so i can get the classes i want ...and need
btw if u didnt know im switiching my major to bio from acounting so yay ... every ones leik .. wow what a change .. but its time for change .. and yea
healthyer hopefully and yea
im just sick of being sick and feelign like crap 24 7

tomarrow nigth adams coming over his mommys gonna take us to pet smart to get fish .. yay .. ive been needing new fish for a while ... and some pebbles and a new plant ... i kinda killed that too

my room for once isnt terible and its a thursday .. normally this is its peak of trashed
i recomend at least a dorm life to every one ...
i love it here so much ...

im putting third floor on quarentine tho... every one is sick and ONE of them got me sick ... and i need to be well already .. sick for 2 mnths with 3 different things!!!!

ack!

i blame the fuck outta them lol but i love the fuck outta them ..

umm .. its cooold out today its been sooo nice out but i went out this mornign and froze my ass off ...

*sigh* make the heat come back .. and my hair too while ur at it .. its gettign long but not long enough

<3
victori

my weekend

kinda really sucked


but only kinda

friday night ... i whined on the foen and the online wiht adam as in why he isnt here right then while breaking out .. YUK i also went over to mikes cuz iw as very bored we went to schafer then came back and hung out surfed the net a bit then i got on the fone so he started to play video games with tony and i played withboo the vibrating hampster conciouse with strap on wings *big 6 yr old smile* and then i read the anime its from went back to my room talked to adam on line and finished the anime and took it back to get the second one...


saturday i slept in ..mom woke me upw itht he fone .. the alarm went off while i was on the fone and i got off the fone and started to go backt o sleep then adam called me ... i got off the fone with him and went back to bed waitign for maureen to call ... sept we had a fire alarm instead.... very very yuk ... i get outta bed throw some clothes on throw my bra in my bag ... no socks... grr so i go intot he stairs and i can smell burning ... it smelled awful.... so im liek o shit somethign is seriously happening ... so were outside im covering my self wait to find peopel i know ... i find mike and go to schafer with him and soem people i get there get cereal and sit with carlton whose by himself and we talk a bit .. apparently im a lesbian said the gay man ... *sigh* im not a lesbian ... so i go sit with kristen and phil when he leaves... they are carrying around laundry ..
so we sit as long as possible calling the 3rd floor ra and trading storys about what happend ,,... where there for abotu 2 - 3 hrs.... we go outside and check on the building after they get enough of me bitchign about how i NEED to go buy a tooth brusha nd toothpaste... btu at that point i decide we should go to the book store instead they have comfy chairs and i wanted to do some shopping ...
i get some stuff for the 2 guys in my life .. bf and dad... and feel accomplished.. i talk to parentals about what happend and details ... apparently this is what happend

somethign in the elevator shaft ie: rubber belt .. caught fire causing the hall sprinklers on 11 to go off and the elevators to flood...

so now we had to wait till abotu 6 to get back in the dorm and that was ok cuz thats when we got back .. and maureen showed up ... bad thing is ... no hot water and no elevators... we can go shower at rhodes... but i dont really want to do that so ill wait a little while it shoudl be fixed soon ...
um we all went out with maureen then we came back and watched the phantom of the opera.. i fell asleep again .. i told her i would .. but i had also taken cough medicin ...
so we walked back upstairs... YUK and then i was liek ok nigh nigh ... sleepy cough medicined up tori was not up much longer... only to wake up to my alarm then again maureen beign awake and ready to go ... go where???

hmm so we went for breakfast i wante dto take her to alpine bagel for iced coffee... mmm .. didnt know they were closed on sundays...
so we shafered it ..
o well .. came back talked to melodya dn tim.. i sang for tim and he said it gave him hope and i said for what and he said that there is still talent in this world .... and it made me sooo happy ...

o last nigthi for got we played pool too i saw ben and snack yay! i danced with ben it was interesting he wa sliek woudl u liek to dance and started doing this swing thing with me and it made me smiel but he also like picked me up before hand i love being in the air! lol bens my hero ...

umm i won the first game of pool lost majorly the second while iw as danceing maureen hit liek all of my balls in ..:(

so yea... today ... so i justw alked up 12 flights to do my psych homework ... and im coughing much .... i think ill do psyc study some then passsss out

tuesday im goignt o an si meetign then figureing otu how to do my major swtichign ...

mmmm pringles...

yay
ok so the weekend was only kinda bad but elevators... that SUCKS

<3

paper on womens shape and hollywood

My entire life I have been surrounded by women of the curvaceous decent. I am not related to any model thin women. Watching TV as a child I began to understand that curvy women are not really people who can make it onto the big screen or even onto the little one. When you are young and you notice people shunning the sort of person you are doomed to become you start to notice the treatment of curvaceous women in every aspect of life. Supposedly in Hollywood curvy women are appreciated and thought of as strong, but it doesn't make sense that the people saying this, especially the women who say this, still tend to be annorexicly thin and excersize-aholics.
While watching MTV and awards shows where the hosts critique the women and how they look you notice lately that full figured women tend to be put on a pedestal for being strong and independent but it tends to translate more into that they are brave to be seen looking like that . If these women are so wonderful and powerful then why are more and more actresses starting to look like Paris Hilton's shadow. Girls like Lindsey Lohan and Nichole Richie are losing weight faster than anyone should naturally. They all turn out looking like sickly skeletons and once more the standards in fashion magazines drop a size and more girls develop image disorders.
In the grocery stores there are tabloids depicting these shadows with headlines asking when is thin too thin. The public reads these papers and looks at these stars while frowning and commenting on the fact that you would think they would be rich enough to afford some food, but then again they are also rich enough to have the food sucked right back out. Then the public does not care anymore because the thought of being that rich helps get their attention back to envying the stars. Stars are existent almost to only be envied in every way, they are who they are so that the majority of the population thinks that they are who they are supposed to be like. If an image is being sold to women all over the country then shouldn't it be how every woman should look? Unfortunately most women see things this way and have no idea they are trying to make themselves look like the women with unattainable looks, and they entirely leave out the fact that these women are not necessarily as beautiful as we would like to believe they are.
Women like Liv Tyler and Queen Latifah are strong beautiful women. The one problem is that when people look at them they see a statement. Queen Latifah is very proud of her image and wants other full figured women to use her as a role model and be happy with themselves, but people still look at her and think large. The public smiles and says, “ What a pretty face , shame about her waistline.” but still manages to avoid using the word fat like one avoids naming other ethnicities, to be polite.

“ The don't talk about it and don't acknowledge it.
No one will use the word fat in front of you. They use
circumlocution , like zoftig or heavy, or say that you have
a pretty face.” (15, Millman)

In magazines such as Teen, Seventeen, and YM are aimed at girls ages 14 to 19 and are full of girls modeling the latest fashions. These magazines started bragging that they were using “real girls” in their photo shoots to model their clothes. Girls wrote in asking where the “real girls” were because they were not any where to be found. The average weight for an adult woman in the United States is 162.9 lbs (About.com), and most of these girls in the magazines can barely pass for 110. The main problem with this is that fashion magazines aimed at teens are very influential in how young women view themselves. Girls use these magazines as standards, and most of these standards are entirely unreasonable. Looking through the November 2005 issue of Teen People I managed to find only one section even featuring a curvaceous model, this article featured three different fashions and only 3 out of the 12 girls were classified as “ curvy”. Magazines and advertisements are not new when it comes to this kind of effect, in the 1950's an advertisements to keep women feminine stated “If I have only one life, let me live it a blond,” caused quite an effect on women of the time.

“And across America, three out of every ten women
dyed their hair blond. They ate a chalk called Metrecal,
instead of food, to shrink to the size of the thin young models.
Department-store buyers reported that American women, since
1939, had become three and four sizes smaller. “Women
are out to fit the clothes instead of vice-versa,” one buyer said.”
(17, Friedan)

Some people blame Barbie. Barbie is 12 inches and to even imagine being proportional to her would require you to be at least 7 feet tall. But I grew up with multiple Barbies, just about every girl in my age group did, and I'm pretty sure it was not the only factor in the image issues girls have today but it might have aided it.
Why is Hollywood so backwards when it comes to reality, shouldn't it just be reality magnified instead of just backwards and distorted? How can these girls survive being as thin as they are, is someone behind them holding their marionette strings, making them dance?
Being a teenager during the time when eating disorders are being publicized I have faced a few complexes. I have come across people who were anorexic and proud, whole groups of people who post pictures of them selves in skeletal form. The website contains tips and motivation for girls who are “pro-ana”, anorexic and not looking to stop. I could never understand these girls, who wants to look like a skeleton, what is sexy about a pile of bones with no breasts or hips? Who really wants to look like that? After asking myself these questions I turn to images of models who look like something stolen from a grave. These are our role models. This is what impressionable youth and naive public think that we are supposed to obtain to maintain happiness and success.
Like anorexia is caused by wanting to be these skeletal women over eating is aided in the desire to be desired. Some girls look through these magazines and photos only to feel like it is and impossible goal to be even near thin and begin to eat. Over eating is not healthy at all and only causes unhappiness. Having society push these sort of stereotypes on the women of America is only making the gap wider for what is thin and what is obscene.
There are women out there who should be appreciated for the size they are and the attitude they maintain. There are curvy women who are strong and beautiful role models for our youth, but for the most part the entertainment industry is placing an unneeded pressure on the women of America to be unnecessarily thin. Women were created to bear children and be strong , beautiful, and sexy, why can't Hollywood remember this and recreate it?

happy hallloween

so life is currently very happy
i went out sat night all dressed up and prolly will do the same tonight . im helping carissa and amanda get ready for their art halloween party ... um ja!

so i must be off

today is thanksgiving

thats it i give up ...
today is honerary thanksgiving

http://calmblueocean46.blogspot.com/

i woke up and felt liek thnksgiving and i wander downstairs in my little sweater and the football game is on ...wtfuck ...
i only ever see foot ball on thanksgiving ...
and then phil tells me about how hes gonna go eat turkey and stufing and cranberry sauce .. etc... and i swear to god i missed a mnth ...

and then that blog .. omy ...


melody said it felt like christmas and i told her to leave my time frame alone!!!
lol

poor me

vic

you cant fake this hard enough to please everyone or any one at all

so i learned how to get the spammers away!!! wooooooo
but that does mean if you wanna comment you must type the word .. so get on that witht he word typign and the commenting and ish ...
i burned my finger on my pants..
damn im hot LOL
and a loser
my cool ratign goes down liek 50 pnts when im tired
so how abotu that sleep thing
much love

vic

ten things i hate about you

i love how strong you are even if it qualifies you to be an ass hole any time you want
i love how u think im cute when im doign nothing special at all
i love how u let me be a chick and not walk all over me for it but dont let me be an idiot....
i love how u do insanly sweet things liek answering the one question every girl asks but no guy ever answers
i love your stomach .. and your biting
i love how ur real
and how you come see me
and pay for my freinds when we go out even if it was just once..
i love how cute and sweet u can be even tho u refuse to admit you are

i love how u make me smile for no damn reason just that you exist....

i was just a stupid kid back then i take back every word that i said.

yay for alkaline trio
yay for amanda im in amandas room right now listeing to her play guitar wishing iw as a singer i love that girl to peices.. new best freind..

rememeber when i said i love
forget it i take it back
i was just a stupid kid back then i take back every word i said


tomarrows monday i dunno if im goign out with megan i prolly need to go to sleep early but college is fun
boy friends are fun
new friends are fun
floor 3 is fun too
lol
ummm '
i walked to 7 11 with amanda and i got this apple ginger spice soda... OMG... yum ...
hobos are scary ... so is richmond in general at night
some one got shot last night then richard told us horror storys and iw a sleik um im deffinitly goign in .... right now ..



hmm



vic

killbabiesgotohell

twice this week i have had todealw ith the insane over churched protestors. first was a girl with a huge yellow sign telling us we were all DEFFINTILY goign to hell . today the pro life people are out side and it makes me want to mame them . they have a huge sign tellign us if we kill babies were goign to hell accompanied by two more people holding signs a little shorter than me with blown up pictures of dead babies.
i want to tear down the pictures and hurt the people .... it makes me upset that they take the worst possible out comes they can find and tell people its the norm .. i hate that they are so damn closed minded and i wish that they woudl hand out fliers offering aid or help to people having to make this difficult decision liek planned parent hood does they dont scream at you and shove down ur throat information telling you you MUST have an abortion ... every one go get pregnant right now and make an appointment ... no you NEVER hear shit liek that but they are so out raged at the innocents being brutally slaughtered that they must tell us were all dieing of some horrible disease called humanity and there is no cure the only cure is to come help them make peopel wanna burn their eyes out and pass out flyers...

do not be uninformed but do not shove your belifes on any one either ... people need to make decisions not be guilted into things
life is yours

vic

yay for finished psyc homework

i dont remeber if i put on here how the carpathian guy was full of shit or not but ill elaborate later... so yea.. life is good i finished my homework .. i just need to read some this weekend but ill do that at home ..kewl ... ummmmmm

my computers being a TOTAL fucktard... not justa retard... its that bad.. it blue screaned me last night onli for every thing to work afte rliek 5 reboots except for internet explorer... aim works...wtf..... but i do belive i must go pack .. home time ... so yea.... i lvoe you guys .. im just in a good mood...

*hugs*

vic

once upon a time i was losing my self ....

wow...
tonigth has been....
interesting...
i was outside with chelsea and gode?(sp) and i met this guy mason and gin was there and a few people and out of no where there were gun shots... yea..wow ... so im following the crowd RUNNING inside... and im doing it slowly cuz... its nto realy where we are so i dunno ... and gin starts screamign at me and chelsea ... cuz were weak defensless girls to get the fuck inside... ..... yea... and then he hurt him self so i stayed outside with gode and kenny? maybe thats his name i dunno .. i dont liek him at all .... so it doesnt matter LOL sorri i am bitch ... but any way me and him get to know each other better and hes reali chill and ish so yea fun ... then i finally come back inside visit miranda .. pounce kam... but miranda blew my fun part... and told him i was coming ... and yea...

gun shots...
city...
wow.

so yea deff sleep time i spent to much time out with him talking so yea..

goodnight starshine ill love you tomarrow


vic