*change*

he looks different...
he onli calls me drunk
hes neevr nice...

he isnt my ryan any more...
there is nothign left to miss....
nothign left to want


im leaving this afternoon as soon as i get home .. im going to the beach ... its gonna be warm there ... *anannaanna!* and you cant come ... none of you i get to go be by myself with my familia! and not you .... but yes... that also means no school work ... and yea.. but ihave to go find lugage upstairs... im procrastiniating .. cuz then i have to clean .. i hope we just dont have school todai i have so much to do ... i had so much fun last nigth and i came home and worked on my anotated bibliography i talked to ryan some and went to bed before nine.. i got woken up by mom and i thoughti was dyeing! i thought it was this mornign and i had to rush around and pack ..... man i hope i packed well .. i was so half asleeeeeep .. but yea then i pass back out to wake up at 3 am to my cell goign off..... i have no idea what to do im so asleep .. i dig it out of my bag and check my vioce mail .. ones ian and two are a rather drunk ryan ...ian called at like 11 so i call ryan back .. we talk for 6 minutes.... he was very drunk .. it made me sadd .... it made me feel so empty .. he was my world even after he left.. and now he is nothign he is no where near ryan .. my ryan was sweet funny nice not a druggie had wikid taste in music .. and a good kisser....

now hes a snobby frat boi wanna be drunk .. who calls me while his cousin is having sex in the back ground.....


u might as well shoot me now ...

and i dont know how to explain the whole sitiation i have with ian to ian .....


mother fucker ... my nets retarded... well im posting this then turnign my comp off!

caio babes

vic