*rubbing alcohol*

ok so tonight kiked ass.. im madly in love with novembers child... ja ... and every thign kikd madd ass ... until a couple was made and i got kinda sad... but then i got better and was happy and made some new friends.. and then i was just totally happy... then i got sung at by kent heheheh and everything was teh great ... i felt involved for once... vs the girl who hears about it mondai ... and then i do something stupid.. i ruin my attention and ask kent to do somethign ... (you wont know what it was if u wernt there and hed rather not talk about it so a) shut the fuck up and b) its none of ur god damn buisness...) he does it and goes in the other room im laughing my ass off ... every one knows.. but it was a small party so duh! ... and i walk into the other room and he gives me a funny look and wont touch me after wards,,.... heather tells me he said he regrets it and it was stupid.....
world comes crashing spinnign down ...
everythign changes i notice his arms around her more i notice those peopel smiling more.. i notice me alone....
MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

buuuut ... i will try and blame it on the hormones... i will think baout next year and how none of this will matter cuz a) i dont reallllly wanna date these people cuz ill be leaving ... and b) a whole new group of people to go to basement shows with and have fun ...
i miss people alreadi

i almost got a ride home with curtis... *wink* lol


im in so much hate with the world right now .. i wanna screammmmmmm ...
peopel think im stupid ..
people think i dont know who it is .. who trys to hurt me ...
whos only a little baby inside venting .. thinkning thier biga nd bad...
then tellign me they love me
and then the male speciese screwing me over in general ... saying ok .. if ur creepy and nasty and gross go stalk tori .. other wise pay her minimal attention then cling to her best freind... and make sure its the best friend with the bf and if u can help it make sure at least 5 other guys liek the same best friend...

i talked to anthony for liek the first time today ... hes cuter then i remeber him being ...

o well
i need to get him to sign my demo too ....


ok ..... too much estrogen

vic