spoke to soon

fuck you and your games im to old for any of you ... im to far gone for any of this i dont want to hear about how you could make me go wild with your tounge i dont wanna listen to your gawdy fake irish accent i dont want to feel like im in a separete world from some one who i want to care about me .. i dont want to talk to you

i grow up to fast i grow another year every time my mom tries to raise a hand to me .. she tried to shove my face into the toilet like u shove a dogs nose into its piss to teach it wrogn .. she did it because i couldnt hear what she was talkign about over her vacuming ... all she had to say was make sure you getthe inside of the bowl .... she grabbed my pony tail and i looked at her liek she was madd ... then she raised a hand to me and i went to block it as she got all high and mighty " what do u want to hit me ???" "no i want to block you" ... what else woudl i do sit and take it liek some weak abused child? ... im 17 ... i dont tolorate this shyt ... she is incapable of being civil and sane .. she needs drugs ... im sick of this shyt

i m sick of this teen age bs too .. im tired of feeling raped .. im tired of beign every ones out .. every ones off .. im tired of being asked for nakid pictures im sick of my boobs getting holes stared into them .. im sick of no one wantign to treat me right im so different than any one .. every one wants sex .... lot of it .. i could care less right now .. what i want is some one to show up and say hey tori lets go see a movie and get a cofee or wanna go to the mall with me ... meet my friends .. have a good time get outta the house... its all i ever want .. i want out of this house and i want to be with peopel i dont have to flash skin at ...

i dont want a boy friend i want a date ..... i want some one mature .. i want soem one i can identify with i want some one who wont sit thier and tell me how much he hates my family .. some one who will try and make it better for me .. who can reach out and say tori lets not think about it .. lets go do a puzzle .. lets go try on hats at the local thrift store and pretend were famouse and walk down the down town mall and snub our noses at old peopel ... and be silly .. i want to go to a drive in and play tag and smiel and laugh and roll around but then snuggle up and smiel and kiss and watch the fuckign movie!! im tired of guys and thier fuckign hormones and im tired of chasing this imposible person .....

i refuse to be lifes little whore any more ... im done .. im to old for all of you .. im to differnt .. im to real for you to want


fuck.

Vic.