why do i do this to mysefl

me and ryan have been apart for over 5 mtnhs...
im sittign here listeing to third eye blind... looing up the lyrics to deep inside of you
im bawling my eyes out ..
hes the only person i really connected with .. no one else ver seems real to me .. or part of me .. i dont know if its because i was with him so long and i dont memeber any thign else.. or if it was real .. but right now i dunno if its cuz im so tired or the hormones or what .. but i really just miss it .. i want to be able to sneak out and go huggle and cuddle and kiss on my back porch ... i want some oen to compleat me ..

but i dont
i dont want some one thier i dont want ryan cuz ryan has nothign for me ...

why the fuck am i cryign !?!!?!?

im this close to breakign out his sweat shirt...

im sure it doesnt help the fact that ryan is a huge part of my life that all the shyt he has givin me still lives around my room .....


i prolly just need sleep so i can wake up and be liek tori ur so stupid and hormonal sometimes.. why would u ever cry over him !? u dont want him .. u dont need him ... why on earth were u upset?!

so im fine... i think ...
but cryign my fuckign eyes out

i lvoe you


tori