wtf .. what kind of letter is this

December 13, 2004


Dear Victoria,

We Are Penn State! And we are pleased you are thinking about attending Penn State Worthignton Scranton. When you graduate from Penn State University, you will be one of over 560,000 graduates and join one of the largest alumni assosiations in the United States. Since one of every eight Pennsylvanians with a bachelor's degree is a Penn State graduate , you will enjoy access to one of the more active and dynamic local alumni groups in the country. Whether for future employment purposes or continuing your education, a degree from Penn State University is one of the most prestigios and widely recognized anywhere in the the world.

Nowadays, students have many choices. Here at Penn State Worthignton Scranton, you can have it your way! You can earn your four-year baccalaureate or two-year associates degree on campus. Or many students chose to complete two years at the Worthignton Scranton campus and continue thier studies at University Park campus in one of over 160 Penn State majors. You can participate in a rigorous, nationally recognized acedemic experience, without leavign your comunity and freinds or giving up your current job. And, you can do this while paying one of the lowest tuitions in the region.

Go Lions and welcome to Penn State Worthignton Scranton! We look forward to seeing you at one of our upcomming functions. Please call us at # if you have any questions.

Sincerly .....


ok ?! so am i in ? ...... and how many times did they start a sentence with and???? lol ... omg ... i think im in ?!

*logan to government control*

i drempt about logan last night
in the dream i was starting to get attached to him again and i had managaed to get my way all the way down to his house.. at night .. so i was talkign to him on the cell fone and i was like looogan guess whatim at your house come out side ... well he was liek hold on wait out there... ill come out later ... so iw as irritated cuz i figured he didnt want shit to do with me .. liek i always figure so yea im outside and this car starts to catch on fire and his whole family comes out side to see it and im just chillin outside on a cell fone like 4 yards from the car .... i was pissed at that point cuz all i wanted to do was see logan and his family now thinks i torched the car ..and im tellign him this on the fone and hes just liek hold on .. just wait .. and not being sypathetic at all ... so i go around back to see what the hell he is doing and hes on the porch ... hes ont he top level makign out with some guy and this girl is on the ground level where i walked in at lookign up at him yelling .. and im liek lemme guess he gave you false hope he told you u were his onli he told you u had a chance and i went on tellign her every thing he sais to me and she nodded and was liek yea that ass hole ... two timing every one ... and he comes down and is liek too bad get over it so me and the girl walk down on the beach and decide were gonna hook up

so the moral of this story is boys and girls when dreaming a guy is two timing you steal his other girlfriend and go make out on a beach

lol ...

but i mean logans great and all .. btu he isnt very sympathetic wich makes me worried cuz i dont wanna be that girl compleatly obliviouse and only coming back for more abuse ....

ive been her before..... guys are fuckign evil

muuah

vic

billisburg

were heading out to williamsburg todai .. i love being with ym cuz ..a s u can tell cuz ive been absent.. but yes yesterdai we went to the downtown mall in cville .. i love that place i didnt see any one i knew tho ..w hich kinda sucks .. btut to top of the fun night of walkign the mall and eating perogies at the hardweare store logan called me ... ghood job! ... lol .... i dont even know what to say abotu it .... but yea ..i m likeing haveing a cell fone yesterdai i almost met up with bryan at the mall but we decided not to go any way so ye a.. but the cell fone is like magic! ... good job! i wish it didnt charge me 2.50 for the first ten mins a dai then 10 cents after that .. czu .. eya ... 250 adds up!!! ... but right now im waitign on a shower ...... 5 people power showering ... in like a span of 1and ahlf hours...... hahahahahahah .. great .... but yea im gonna go now .. ill come back when i regain compostion ... muuuuah



vic

*skiped a day*

opppps ... well i guess ill count that as my xmas break form here ...
im still wiaitng on my cell fone to be connected to the network.. *sigh* but my cousins are comign in from pa tonight ..a nd kailee was sposed to come over .. btu she is still asleep ... and i havnt heard anythign about my hampster ..... o well .. for the better i supose..
im so excited that my cousins are comign .. my cousin elizabeth is one of my closest .. shes a yr younger en me btu shes theo nly one thats liek me at all ... and shes the thinest of us all ..lol ...

so yesterdai i cleaned my room .... it has never been this clean ... *pleased* but yea so i was feelign so accomplished half way through cleaning i even did 50 sit ups ! yay! go tori and ive been tryign to eat better so im down to 145 even ... good job tori ! so now im not worrying as much cuz if i loose wieght itll be a ) easyier to tell and b) prolly means im not preggo ! and c) i neeeed to loose wieght but yea mommy asked me if i was pregnanat again last night! i was leik am i that fat !? shes just worried cuz i ve missed my period ... but i dont think i am ... well as much as i used to .. but i do think my stomach is getting harder .... but i can just be imagining it .. o well i have to do some final cleaning things... and brush my teeth ... i so just woke up


enjoi

vic

*smile*

yay!!! merry christmas every one!!!! today was an actual decent christmas .. i didnt wake up to early and i didnt throw up ... good job lol .... ok lemme get this outta the way , my list of my presents

virgin cell fone and thrity dollar top up card and hands free peice
amber neckalce and ring
new guitar and strap
moon clock
napolean dynomite
happy bunny shirt ( its all about me get over it)
joistick you plug into the tv with pacman and such on it
new sweater
eye shadow
candy

and i think thats all ....

michael got lotr risk ..and we played it ... it was .. confusing

im not likeing my stomach latly ... i dont rememebr what its sposed to feel like .. but im tryign not to think about it ... any way .. im in love with my new guitar... im thinking her names gonna be candy
check her out

http://www.rondomusic.net/dg25.html

wikid guitar .. and cheep ... i think my dad found this brand on accident .. i think my guitr was liek 50 sumethign bucks... and its not cheep .. score for the team ... considering i bought mom the godfather set for 75 dollars... *cringe* ooo!!! she can wear the earings!!!!! yay

well i have peopel to attend to i just wanted to show off my new toy!

ill bbl

vic

midnight mass

i just got back from midnight mass .. its officially christmas! merry xmas!!!lol ...i saw pete and chris while i was there ... *smiles* my head hurts really bad... this isnt kewl .. i dont enjoi being sick to much
but todai i went shopping for my moms xmas presents... i never get to go to town so yea.. last minute plus a guilt trip .. i bought her the movie elizabeth wich i gave her tonight we watched it i like it .. but i also got her the godfathers set ... 75 bucks ... yea.. and then i got her the most awsome pair of earings .. o and a pair of gold hoops .. which was totaly over priced as well .. but you know .. guilt trips make you spend it alllll . .. lol but yea an di got her tea tree exfoliating scrub .. she better liek it .. i m so excited .. i love giving peopel things .. specially when i know they'll love it ..

i saw that marco guy at the mass... he looked very suprised to see me .. i never knew he even noticed me as much as i notice him ... he looks just liek marco from degrassi .. lol im a dork bugg off ... but im not making any interesting sence so merry christmas to all and to all a good night!!!


muah

vix

*this is my rupert , and he loves me *

im such a little hippie chick .. ... im so cute ..


ok so today was good for the most part .. i got to sleep till 11:30 .. then i woke up a little and travis called ... which is always a fun thing .. then i surfed the crime library the rest of the mornign then did my chores and my parents got hom e.. mom got my my cereal and we watched lord of the rings .. well they did i slept .. mom played with my hair and told em she loved me .. repeatedly ... it kinda owrried me .. but it was cuz i was sittign on the couch next to her and we havnt been any where near each other in a long time and i was sleeping on her so yea ... life happens .. so yea .. im starting to worry a bit about psu .. i have liek 1 more month of waitign to do .. i pray i get in ..

well im gonna go cuz im being pissy and hurtng peoeples feeling s


bye

vic

um

the quick bead commercial scares me

why are they sellign sex to 12 year olds?!!?!?!?

*sigh*
i started freakign out cuz mybody was revolting against me ... then i rememebred i didnt eat lunch ....... im a mess


logan called me ..
thats always interesting .. with him i dont think i could ever feel compleatly alone .....


damnit

i lvoe you

vic

regaining my life

my hand is bleeding .. my poor hands are constantly beat up .. happens when you a hands on person .. except thier bleeding now cuz i went to smash somethign between my hands and i clapped onto a snowflake charm on my bracelette,,, yup both hands have little circle cuts and hurt liek a 6 yr old falling on thier hands on cement... ok .. so yes..

kailee took me home .. we were gonna go to toris house and get my hampster.... nu uh .. .tori missed the bus and wont be home for at least a day and wont let me and kailee go get it our selves... yup .. so me and kailee were wastign time before we knew this so she woudl have time to get home .. we went to the dollar store subway and foodlion ...k i got candels and cutsey pencils .. i met jeff somethign or another .. another 17 yr old freashmen ....... *sigh*****

i got to watch curtis play the banjo a little whiel i was finishing jessies necklace.. i made 10 bucks today .. but yea he looks liek a cockerspaniel .. lol .. i saw janice at the dollar store and we were talkign about him and i told her that .. she says he looks like plant ... but yea... either way hes got the hair .. today was tori mendicinos last day ... im gonna miss her ..

um ... im so tryign to preoccupy myself from this whole missed period thing but heres something pathetic .. i was reaserching pregnancy and at 4 mnths u can hear the heat beat with a stethascope .. and yea .. my moms a nurse so i snooped out her scope ... omg! it took me 10 mins to find my heart beat!!!!!!! lol ... i coudlnt find a baby one .. and i would be able to feel it by now so im feeling a little more confident .. cuz did u know the babys age is considered from the first day of the last period .. lol ... so that makes it exactly 4 mnths yesterday lol .. or if ya wanna be a smart ass about it only about 2 mnths.. lol ...

tonight im totally redoing my room .. well cleaning it at least ... im locking myself in mom can do her laundry .. fuck .. ihave to do the first part of the laundry and the bathrooms now ...

whata glamorouse life i own


love you

vic

psychosymatic swelling ...

i finally listened to autumn to ashes.... i like them ...
i dled some ani difranco ... im still working on that


i think my stomach is swelling ... probably in reaction to my constant poking pressing and pinching.... i hope

im beyond scared at this point ... but all i can do is wait .. and go to the bathroom every five minutes praying for blood ...


im not graphic ..

i tried to call kailee 2wice today to ask her about the hampster i hope she can keep it for me .. other wise there is little else to choose from .. i was tellgin my mom about it .. i was liek im sooo happy soo excited .. my mom says there is no hampster and that tori is lyeing to me .. my moms wierd... all i can think about right now is my stomach i think im gonna go take a long bath and press on my stomach some more .. but first im gonna google soem stuff on it .. if any one can tell me anythign about pregnancy signs old wives tales anythign ... that can help my parinoia ...... i will love you forver and dedicate u a whole post .. but im no fun to listen to when im freakign out ... so ill let you go



*half assed smile*

vic

fuck your mother

ok so i had my guitar recital tonight ... i love these sort of things cuz i get to leave my house and see my freinds ... except im always late ..or just on time so idont get to hang out before hand .. and then the second im done .. off stage whatever im being draged away and not o ill stand off to the sides just hurry up and say your good byes and put your things away so we can leave *polite little motherly smile * hell fuckgin no! its squeeze you ass through the people leaveing to reach into the room where the performers are sayign thier good jobs and omgs where there isnt one parent to grab me by the fucking arm tell me were leavign now and to hurry up and then snarl at me who is that girl your talkign to huggign !?!?!?!?!? um that woudl be tori mom ... " i dont want you talkign to that girl ever!!" *glare and not carign who she is talkign in front of* shes moving mom back off so then i go to put my guitar and she pulls on me to get me out of the door im liek im putting my guitar away ! stoppit .. so im pissed and huffing to the car slamming doors cussing under my breath she slids into her seat .. so you guys were very good tori .. who was that guy .. the blond one .. the tall one in the middle ..... chet mom ... uve met him .. o well his hair is longer and not green ... (big difference ... not ) o and whos the guy with the long curly hair ... uh curtis mr scruggs said his name ... whos he ... uh remeebr that guy i was in love with in the 8th grade... well if your gonna be a bitch about it i wont ask u any more ... fine! ... so then later i tell them who all was in novemebers child and total bytch the whole time i can help it im pissed .. so then we go to get pizza at marisellas.... for those who dont know i cant eat pizza..... good job mom way to fuckgin go! .. so im being secluded and reading my guitar mag ..w hich promptly gets snatched by her ... and she spends the whole time readin it ... then i talk abotu how danes a total fuck and told matt i thought he was hot and i was tryign to tell a story when she freaks out abotu how i let him push my buttons and how i shoudlnt aknowledge his pressence which i used to do but i have to know because my freinds in that class are friends with him .. which iw as trygin to explain but she woudlnt shut up so im freakign out telling her she doesnt listen or care and my dad grabs my head and tells her to leave his tori alone as im get frustrated and cry with my head stuck in his arm sure hesgonna snap my glasses... as my mom laughs cuz she thinks she so fuckgin cute and tells me to toughen up or i wont survive life with gram and my aunt elain .......












jesus fucking christ


fuck her






vic

waiting makes me sleepy..

im so absolutly frustrated... i havnt gotten to see my aunt in how fuckign long!? grrrrr and i went to psu.edu to check on my application status and there so busy transfering the ssn to psu codes the site isnt letting me check it ... so all i get to do is wait .. for a letter.. for me to start gaining weight or to bleed .. i almost had a heart attack .. my mom emptied my garbage can .. and uh yea i dont know if she saw what was in the bag or not .. but if she did she might not say anythign cuz it was negative..... but yea... i doubt she did ...

so yes.. ive been gritting my teeth .. im waitign for every one to go to bed so i can take out my binkie .. cuz my jaw hurts ... and my head hurts and ... because of my parinoia ive been magnifieing any sort of movement or pain or twitch or anythign in my stomach ... it sucks ......



i dont know how to play hard to get .. i dont liek it ... but its the only way i dont come off as a freak or a slut .... save me .. i just want soem oen who is my age and into my sort of things to have intrest in me .. me not my body .. me ! .. in all my wierd aclectic freakish glory... damn i cant wait till next year!


ok so every one out there pray for eithe a) snow so i dont have school b) my acceptance to psu c) a lack of child in my stomach and if ur christian u better pray for that one cuz if there is one im killing it or d) all of the above!!!

and ill give ya a quarter




and then i found five dollars


vic

Novemebers Child

i just got home form a show i went to with heather. it was a freidns of mines band , kent curtis and chad .. im nto really freinds with anthony but i used to have a crush on him so i guess it counts lol .. so yea .. they were very awsome i was semi worried they woudl be .. not good .. but yea ... they kiked madd ass ... now onto the selfish part .. the social part .. i think i scare guys .. i dont mean to im just a touchy person .. but yea.. heather .. i felt bad she was sasd alot .. btu yea.. i love her.. i even with stood a car ride with dane for her with out flipping out so her parents wouldnt hate me but im pretty sure they think im insane at this point .. lol ... so we stopped at subway .. i tried to talk to john but i think i scared him away too ............ *sigh*


i took another test .. and im still negative but still lack of blood








gar!





muah !





ish

vic

*le sigh ..again *

so yea... yesterday i was going to post about how great my day was and how happy i was for the first time in a good long while ... welll good thing i didnt .. cuz then you would all notice my extream bloging bipolar...ality? ... so yes.. yesterdai was awsome ... todai was the compleat opposite... in every aspect.. liek first , i find out this one guy might like me .. which was besides the point i was just lookign to be flattered for a little bit .. boost my ego .. just for todai to find out he was actually makign faces... and that my freinds lied so i wouldnt be mad at them .. well now i am .. then i find out im porbably deffinitly not pregnant .. i took a test ... only for todai to get very pmsy .. my head starts spinning and i feel liek passing out and killing every one closer then a foot to me ... so yes .. there was probably more examples but im bored on this subject right now


tomarrow is the show, i am so excited.. kent told me he was going to get drunk before hand .. (he told me not to tell you heather so u dont know this lol ) but i dont think he will .. i think he should enjoi this experience as much as he can .. in a way he can rememebr it ... but yes.. i baisically told my mom i was going and that im not takign no for an answer ... good job right .. so yea .. i was walking with tori so i could go be a bitch and walk in front of ethan .. cuz im mean liek that and i was askign david if he was gonna be at the show .. he asked em when i was workign .. *smiles inside* ... i want to be his friend... but yes! ... todays post has little moral or point .. so here ill make one up

when your happy today , itll suck twice as bad tomarrow ...

ciao!!!!!!!!

vic

*heathers future*

one day you'll be at college.. u'll be in some class first semester working hard cuz your so glad ur in college that your tryign to keep up your best .. then this guy .. sortish blah spiky hair wearing a cross eyed t shirt ball chain necklace and baggy jeans leans over and asks you for a pen , you lean over and pulout your note book lay it on the desk then fish out a pen ...he tells you his name is brad or somethign and he asks you what high school you went to .. hes from north carolinia.. he invites youto his church after you mention somethign about how u dont have one to go to down here for a youth meeting .. he gives you his number so you can call him about details and directions then you go back to class and chatting a little... that night you call him ... he doesnt pick up .. he isnthome .. but he calls you back and u meet him at the youth meetign .. you have an awsome time ... theres a lot more invested into their church then the ones here.. you have a blast ..t hen you go out to eat .. u have frech fries and a shake .. or somethign like that and you talk for ever.. the both of you have an awsome time so you go home and scream and giggle and call tori ..


**** who is at a party tryign acid for the first time lol

i lvoe you heather ... and this was yoru ode to the great times weve had im so glad yoru one of my best friends thank you for being there and you know even if im in penny and ur in nc i will always be there!!!!!! *big hugs*

*is every thing ok *

...... i hate it wehn teachers act liek your friends... not liek when thier nice to you cuz thats always nice but when they say hi to u in the halls when ur deffinitly not even one of the favorite students... and my biggest peeve is when ur obviously compleatly and emotionaly torn to shreds and they look at you staring off into space and say those damned little words .. "is every hting ok ?" like im gonna spill to doc that im scared to death about missing my period , that josh makes me wanna be a colombine kid and that ive started to loose control of my life again .. no deffinitly not .. so i nod and continue to stare and say uh huh ..yea.. im fine ... and continue pictureing myself pouring a bottle of super glue down joshes throat....

ever know one of those peopel who just hated you for no reason ... not exactly the kind of person u want to be friends with but it doesnt matter cuz its not that that bothers you its the fact that they dont stop .. u walk intot he class room and some one asks where you have been and then the person continues thier sentence with i wish u stayed there....

yep that woudl eb josh sept hes worse... i hear my name every now and again with a comment of how fat i am or how annoying my laugh/ voice is and how they wish i woudl shut up or leave or how they woudlnt miss me when im gone......

i dunno why but today he got to me normally i just cuss a little and tell evonte how much i cant stand him but today he made me feel like shit.. im nto sure why tho but i cussed... alot then im almost sure i was gonna cry .. maybe its cuz ive been in a constant state of hormonal confusion ... so yea.. all i remeber was hearign him say my name so i turned to see what was said then shawn tells him i heard him so josh procedes to go on about how he dosnt understand why i get all red when he talks about me cuz i know he hates em .......

yea ... fuck you josh



so yea..

another ranto n a totally irrelevant note... i was thiknign about things and i have never been in a relationship that took work .. everythign i do always seems to have either worked or didnt .. none of this im mad at my bf ... were in a fight bullshit.... deep down i always wanted it ... but theirs a wierd little part of me that begs to be stuck in an abbusive relationship ... ( i wonder what my past lives were now) but i think it has somethign to dow ith the passion .. if some one didnt want to have anythign to do with you then why woudl they waste thier time trying to make fights better or takign the time to beat you ... i know how horrible that sounds.. btu yea.. im a little wierd when i think .. i told my dads old boss exactlyhow to wipe out thier entire source of computers in one shot asfter seeign thier cameras.... and thats when i was 10 ... so yea... im not realy that psychotic.. u just want to think i am

but yes im in a better mood minus this constant run through my head about my period .. which makes it worse cuz stress can cause me to skip it for mnths! ... so yea

o i talked to justin today ... hes a very comfortable person to talk to but he has zero future so ill let her fuck him and he'll just be my friend lol ...

adios

vic

ode .. for those who didnt know who i was talkign about

Vicious was wandering the hallways, crying and agitated, when police arrived. His face was battered, but the bruising indicated that the beating had happened some time before police arrived. When his next-door neighbor came out of her room to see what was going on, Vicious reportedly said to her, "I killed her...I can't live without her." He was also heard muttering through his tears, "She must have fallen on the knife." A known heroin addict, Vicious was obviously high. Officers attempted to arrest him, but he resisted. Police subdued him and put him in handcuffs. Later that afternoon he was charged with second-degree homicide in the death of Nancy Spungen.



The news of Spungen's death and the murder charge against Vicious reverberated through the ranks of young people who defiantly called themselves "punks." Vicious' many fans saw him as nothing less than the embodiment of the punk philosophy—aggressively nihilistic and intentionally rude and offensive in all situations. His physical appearance underscored his beliefs — dyed spiked hair, rail-thin body, knock-kneed posture, worn black-leather motorcycle jacket, and his trademark dog chain and padlock around his neck. Punk was the antithesis of civilized middle-class values. Doing drugs, wearing tattered clothes and safety pins in facial piercings, living in squalor, and never paying more than a dollar for anything were not just lifestyle choices, they were part of the punk ethos. Spungen and Vicious had come to New York and the Chelsea Hotel in particular to enhance their status as punk royalty. But in the end they became the stuff of tragedy, the punk Romeo and Juliet.



Within a week, Vicious, despondent over the loss of Nancy, tried to take his own life by overdosing on methadone and slashing his arm. His mother discovered him and called for help, saving his life. Once again he tried to kick his habit, but he used up his methadone allotment too soon and had to suffer for days in painful drug withdrawal until the clinic would give him more. On October 28, he made another attempt to kill himself, slashing his wrists with a razor blade and a broken light bulb, screaming, according to author Malcolm Butt, "I want to join Nancy, I didn't keep my part of the bargain."

This time McLaren called for paramedics, but before they arrived, Vicious tried unsuccessfully to throw himself out a window. He was taken to Bellevue Hospital where he spent several days in detox before being discharged to his mother's care.

By December, Vicious had found a new girlfriend, actress Michelle Robinson, but by all accounts she was no substitute for Nancy in his heart. Together they made the punk club scene in Manhattan, Vicious frequently obnoxious and belligerent. On December 9, 1978, he got into a fight with Todd Smith, brother of punk-rock poet Patti Smith, at a club called Hurrah's, cutting Todd Smith's face with a broken bottle. Having violated the terms of his parole, Vicious was arrested and sent back to Riker's Island where he spent seven more weeks in the prison detox unit.

Vicious was released on February 1, 1979, and he immediately went back to heroin, this time supplied by his mother, according the New York Post. At a party celebrating his release at Michelle Robinson's Greenwich Village apartment, Vicious shot up and soon demanded more. His mother doled out another dose from her purse, and within 20 minutes he collapsed on the bed. Friends offered to take him to the hospital, but he refused to go. He drifted off and was left alone in the bedroom. Sometime during the night he woke up, found his mother's purse, and took the rest of the heroin. The next morning he was found dead.

A court of law never determined Sid Vicious's guilt or innocence in the death of Nancy Spungen. Friends and relatives knew that he beat her and that they sometimes beat each other. It's possible that he stabbed her in a fit of rage, his judgment clouded by his addiction.

But the couple also often spoke of taking their own lives, and just weeks before Nancy's death during their visit to the Spungens in Pennsylvania, they had mentioned that they probably wouldn't live long. During one of his suicide attempts after his arrest, Vicious did cry out that he hadn't lived up to his part of the "bargain." Is it possible that he and Nancy made a suicide pact, but in his drug haze he was unable to take his own life?

It has also been suggested that Nancy Spungen's killing was the result of a robbery gone bad. Rockets Redglare claimed that Spungen had cash spilling out of her bag in the early morning hours of October 12, but the next day police investigators found no sizeable amounts of cash in the room. Upon leaving the Chelsea Hotel at about 5 a.m., Redglare saw the mysterious "Steve C" in the lobby. According to author Malcolm Butt, Steve C was a "local drug dealer" with a "history of mental illness." Perhaps Steve C or someone else entered Room 100 while Vicious was unconscious or out wandering, attempted to take Spungen's money, and killed her when she put up a fight.

It might also have been a revenge killing. Spungen was not well-liked, and Butts claims that she had had an argument with a Puerto Rican drug gang the day before she died. Perhaps someone she had disrespected wanted payback.

Sex Pistols' lead singer Johnny Rotten never believed that Vicious was guilty. "Sid isn't capable of killing her," Rotten told Melody Maker in an October 1978 interview. "It's not possible."

The true circumstances of Nancy Spungen's death may never be uncovered, but its notoriety as what one policeman called New York's "first punk rock murder" will never fade. Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen will be remembered forever as the punk Romeo and Juliet—tragic in love and tragic in death.


http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious%5Fmurders/celebrity/sid%5Fvicious/

*le fuckign sigh*

ok last night i was a total ass hole... remind me to neevr act liek a twelve year old agian ... that and ryhme

rhyming and tori is wai to cutsey to work

so yea .. still no proof but im not thinking im thre months gone .. plus i know cody woudl kill it for me .. right ?

i just read an article explaining how imaculate conception happens...somethign about how sperm can swim thruough hot tubs and many virgins have had perfectly healthy babies...

it was wierd ..

any way i have some reaserch to do so i just wanted to appologize for being such an idiot

*hearts*

vix

i feel like writing

its 11.30 .. i feel liek writing .. telling storys.. tellign feelings...

enjoi


you know that feelign you get when u get called ot the front of the class.. to the front of the room .. to every ones attention .. but yournot scared , u just stand up walk to the front and smile knowing the teacher failed, the speaker failed!, he tried to make you upset he tried to make you shake and sweat, to make you want you want to curl up and hide for weeks , to wonder what every oen is thinking as you slowly inch your way up to the front of the room . its amazing to watch thier face subconciously drop when u bounce up to the front beamign , looking liek you prayed for them to pick you , to ask you to have the honor of visitign the front of the room ...

one of the reasons i love 1st period .... and when dr. s tries to punish me for sleepign my making me come to the front ... make him cry


there are no more tears left inside of me
ive grown up ... really quickly
im not afriad any more

when im ove to pennsylvania next year im going to buy two mice and cage ... i will breed them .. and feed them and play with them and hide them from my grams cat, ... the girl will be hayley and the boys name is still up for grabs .. maybe alex or chirs or nick or somethign .... no i don tliek nick ... or chris .. or alex for a mouse... ok some one claim it and you can have it .. so ne wai .. i want mice really badly for some odd reason right now ... i also really want to be accepted into pennstate... like right now... im soo worried ... o and i could prolly use my period .. ne day now ... that woudl be very nice ... *bytches at god*

well some one worth while is online

nyght

vic

mermaid nails

my nails are green and sparkly , they remind me of mermaids...

so yea... today was long, boring and un eventfull .... btu i still have liek 2 hours for something to happen ... i guess..

ive decided i cant wait to be on my own , i hate people ... sooo much , peer pressure is so stupid .. i woudl be such an awsoem normal person if i didnt feel that i had to pick either pot or alcohol , that i had to pick a type of music ,,, that i had to be soem one in a box .. and i hate how every one else has done it too ... like i can look at some oen and tell you what drugs they do or dont do .. i can tell you what bands they wouldnt be caught dead listening too and what band is plastered to thier walls... i guess i can see this because my parents did that whole lets have well rounded children and keep them in a box so they cant get out and fuck it up ... i cant wait till i can leave,... after i get my fone ill be going out a lot more.. i hope ... i pray ..

i just really need to get my college shyt in ...


*sigh*

if i dont get accepted to pennstate im soooo screwed...
sooo screwed...

i think i will go check the status on that .. right about soon

then ill wait for some one worht while to get online so i can not be so bored...


but maybe in the mean time ill do my essays.. or my room

*muah * "-.O"

vix

im sure mary fucked a few stable boys in her day

you want an akward moment ?

date some one whos to young for you then procede to let them think they are your world, then break up with them .... then answer the fone at 8:40 at night

yea... i will never date ne one younger then me ever agin ... ever



so yea .. i was liek hmm mom im late i shoudl go ot the doctor.. then she asked me if i had sex.. at the diner table in front of my dad and brother so even if i wanted to be liek o mom yes yes i have i repent i repent save my soul! i sure as hell wasnt doign it in front of them , so yea now every time i look in the mirror im like ... is there a kid in there?! ... lol .. its imposibble for my to be preganant but i thought i shoudl ramble..plus i just watched saved agian last night ..(patrick fugit is a god ) (p.p.s. that movies good too ).. so eya.... kids suck .. i m so gonna be miss fuckign priss and not deal with younger people ne more... not doing it!

ja

well ne wai i love you

vic

what a day

well i did it , me and ethan split ...

*smiles a bit* i am so much happier .....


well i hope it stays that way
and i hope he doesnt try to make it go back ..

i wish things woudl stay final
but im going to sarahs house ... like now


caio
vic

*play time *

ok ...wow .. todai just came crashing down on me
me and heather made a pro / con chart about my situation ....
im pretty sure i have to break up with him


*very sad*
its liek kicking a puppy, im just not that mean of a person ne more
i just cant date younger, it makes me feel like a mom
and thats not healthy!
lol , plus there was more than oen person on that little sheet
heather says i need to do somethign before i get in over my head

i feel like im gonna treat him the way justin treated me
one day everythign was fine then i say i think hes cheating then the second i think its ok again he dumps me



yea


it sucks ,,,,,


vic

hmmm

i feel so out of place here... i dont like shift bars to much ... but i'm goign to college soon so i should learn to like them.
speakign of learngin to like things , how does some one go from thinking some one is the most irritating thing in the world to being with them and not having a way to not be with them , while still not being alloud to see him ?

life would be so much easyer right now if i just broke up with him right now and pursued the other guys ... but im so insecure sometimes... like .. i think i wont do it cuz a) i do really liek him b) im not sure if i have a chance with the others or c)woudl i do the same thing with them that i do now ?

i dont liek this...


i blame ryan











*angry*
vic

horiscopes

horiscopes tell my life...
no matter what i figure them out but when im around certain people ... my horiscopes tend to freak me out .. i dunno they have been doing it agian .... but not necisarrily mine...

wow im not ready to leave home yet.. i wonder what my horiscope has to say abotu my onward voiyage .....


sigh ...

bed time

vic