Eek Goals!

So I think I finally broke the slump and am now onto goals.
Also I made the mistake of stepping on the scale this morning ( the day my lovley lady time starts) and have gained like 6 lbs...

Might be due to nature, might also be due to me eating nothing but fried shit and drinking and sleeping and being sedentary all the time... :/

so to retaliate I have begun little work outs and diet changes while working ... I figure if i keep these up while working i can slack on the free time considering how little of it i actually have...

ALSO I really am beginning to feel quite guilty about being gone all the time.. I miss my family, I miss my boyfriend, I miss my derby girls and I miss everything that is happening .. I have a feeling when the warm sets in things will get better PLUS I just got bumped up two slots in seniority at work which makes me no longer the company bitch! woo!

so speaking of being the bitch, I have always been the one to clean up messes and take care of problems, not to bitch and complain or ask questions, just if I see a mess I clean it up or fix it or whatever needs to be done and the other day I had a set of puking twin infants destroy the back two rows of my plane on landing. I immediately went into the "shit how am I going to clean this with out water" mind set and apparently I don't even have to look at it , we have a cleaning crew! tell me that is not amazing.

So on this lovely day I wish everyone luck in their endeavors and I am quite hopeful on mine :)

oh oh! Lets over think EVERYTHING!

So the absolute best part about my new career is I am completely under slept all of the time... again. Woo...
or not.
And unfortunitly when I get that way I get very cranky and over think every little thing. So those pants straight out of the dryer fitting snug means I have gained a million pounds and am going to turn into a fat cow, my person joking with some girl means I am completely hideous and no one will ever love me, my friends not answering their phones means they hate me, and my inability to remember what day it is means I am losing my brain entirely.
Frankly my only solution to this is more napping and general self care and to fake it till I make it .. right?
I started to be happy doing that and I kind of lost it so reset?
It is kind of hard at the moment but what I am aiming for and fortunitly some good things have come from my brain not shutting off ... like I remember how I fixed myself before, removing toxic people and things from my life, imposing some self discipline, self betterment as a main priority, etc.

so umm .. in my lack of nap thought process... wish me luck <3