Who reads the Economist, really?

The only people who read the Economist are business men who want to be seen reading the Economist, this is why I always find issues on my planes because once they are done being seen looking intellectual and money savvy they ditch their trash on my plane to go do whatever it is intellectual money savvy business men go do. Oh yeah, their secretaries. Now don't get me wrong, I have no qualms with business men, they make up the majority of my flights, they cause no problems and rarely make me fill out a liquor form.
But I do have a problem with their toys.
Normally about one out of 150 of my passengers are under the age of 14, which is a shame because they listen better than the adults. When a person of authority tells an 8 year old to put their Hello Kitty back pack alll the way under the seat in front of them, they do. (Well to the best of their abilities I assure you ) But when you inform a full grown woman that yes, her Prada purse is still a carry on and no she can not put it behind her feet, or in her lap, or against the wall, or anywhere except in the over head bin (that she can view from her seat mind you) because she wants the extra leg room of the emergency exit seat in the front row (also note the woman is 5 foot even) she looks at you like you are mad and there is no way in hell she will part with that pocket book any quicker than she would a colostomy bag. And this happens about once every 3 flights where I either assure her no one will snatch anything from her purse because, well its a tiny flight with about 10 passengers and she can put it in the bin across from her to keep a watchful eye on it and any hoodlums who get near it or she can move. But this is nothing compared to what I was getting to about the grown ups and their toys.
I for one know how addictive electronics can be, ask the grave yard of them I have accumulated or the wish list still growing, but you are grown adults, turn them off. Not airplane mode, not sleep mode, not silent mode, OFF. It absolutely will not kill you to turn off and tune out for 10 mins during take off and landing and frankly if you leave them on , it might kill you. We inform you to turn these things off for a reason, and it is the same ladies and gentlemen who board my flights sniggering about how its a miracle the plane will make it to their destination and about how nervous prop planes make them that leave their crackberries on for the entire flight ignoring how that might interfere with the instruments. You would think that someone nervous about a plane would do what they can to ensure that its at its safest level.
Oh and facing your phone/iPod/iPad/Blackberry/Droid/Whatever into your lap inconspicuously doesn't help. It illuminates your crotch, so do both of us a favor and don't insult me by treating me like I am oblivious, just turn it off. This also applies for when I am sitting at the front of the plane, we take off and immediately the white ceiling over your head illuminates bright blue and starts flashing. White ceilings reflect. Oh and Mr. Gangster rap, I can hear your head phones from the front row, even the lyrics.


I swear I really do love my job.

Red Light Valentine.

Driving down the back roads from the airport to the hotel in Huntington , West Virginia there really isnt much to see, a few run down houses, a gas station here and there and this one eye catching store front converted from an old house full of nothing but red.
Driving past a wall of glass at midnight on a Monday while it glows every shade of red imaginable, pulsing evil vibes when you realize the items bathing in the fire glow are little white teddy bears clutching hearts, heart lollipops, felt roses, heart shaped balloons and cheap hard candies. The perfect creepy mix of innocence and back woods horror movie all by its self, on the back roads to the hotel from Huntington airport.